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Food Introduction Fears

2/21/2023

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With research now showing that delaying the introduction of allergens to infants may increase the risk of developing allergies, there's been a purposeful focus on "letting the babies eat" - which is a catchy phrase to help remind parents of this important data (links to useful data at the end of this article). 

But what happens when fear enters the equation (which it likely will, because fear is a normal emotional response to a perceived and/or actual threat, such as an allergic reaction).  When fear gets in the way of introducing new foods? 
Fear of Food Allergen Introduction
Maybe you're the parent/caregiver of an infant and want to introduce allergens, but are scared to. Or perhaps you have a toddler and while you haven't been diligent about introducing new foods along the way, you now want to, but find that your nerves are getting in the way of actually following through. 

While it's outside of The FAC's professional scope to provide any medical guidance, it's within its  scope to offer tips to help navigate the fear and anxiety impacting your ability to follow through with introducing new foods. With that said, this important disclaimer needs to be made before moving on to helpful tips:
Guidance given here is for educational purposes; please consult with your own allergist and/or physician for guidance specific to your situation, including determining which foods are safe to introduce and when. 

Now, let's get to 3 practical tips to help you introduce foods even with fear present!

Tip #1: Make "Bite-Sized" Goals:

Especially if you're feeling that you're "behind" on the goal of introducing new foods, you may set such high expectations that you'll get derailed before you even start. Maybe you're pressuring yourself to introduce as many foods as possible, as quickly as possible! But if you find that approach only leads to more avoidance of food introductions, then it's not a workable approach for you. Here's what may help if this is how you're feeling, whether you're working on infant food introduction or introductions with an older child: 


  • Develop a food introduction timeline with your allergist and/or physician, including how often to introduce foods and which foods to introduce when; use this as your compass rather than trying to guess your way through it (which will likely increase fear and anxiety)

  • Stay in the present-moment, only focusing on the food you're currently introducing

  • If you get derailed, explore how you got off-track and focus on encouraging yourself to get back on the food introduction ladder (you just need to get on that first step to reconnect with your bravery and use that as momentum to keep moving forward!)

  • Don't hesitate to reach out to your allergist and/or physician if you get off-track or have any concerns. (And, no, you're NOT bothering them with such questions!)

Tip #2: Practice Self-Compassion: 
We tend to be judgmental of ourselves when we are unable to follow through with tasks we feel we should be doing. This may lead to thoughts of "Why aren't I brave enough?" and "I'm not being a good enough allergy parent!" And once we jump down that judgmental rabbit hole, it may actually feel harder to introduce foods since we're now dealing with fear AND judgement! Here's what helps if you find yourself experiencing self-judgement: 


  • Develop compassionate self-talk statements to say to yourself when you're feeling down about the struggle to introduce new foods. This can include statements like: "I am not feeling ready YET, but I'm working towards that!" or "I can do hard (and scary) things!"

  • Give yourself grace! It's not easy to do things that we feel are threatening - if it was, then we'd all be doing it already. 

  • Connect with the collective experience of food introduction. You're not the only parent/caregiver finding it hard to introduce new foods. Reminding yourself of this can help normalize how you're feeling.

  • There's no need to compare yourself to how other allergy parents/caregivers are navigating this task - it won't feel helpful! Everyone's situation is specific to them - including their allergies, how they feel, and how they navigate through food introductions.  

Tip #3: Focus on Your "WHYs" for Food Introduction:
Yes, one big WHY for introducing allergens early and often are to help with allergy prevention, but there are likely other reasons why you're wanting to do food introductions. These WHYs become important reminders that help us push through the times when we're anxious, and help us stay on track when it feels hard to do so. To determine your additional WHYs for food introduction, ask yourself these questions: 
  • What will I and/or my child be able to do more of if I introduce more foods and potentially expand food options? 

  • What is *not* introducing foods costing me and/or my child? (ie. what are you not able to do that you want to; is it causing stress; is it impacting relationships/family or quality of life?)

  • What goals am I looking forward to once I start working through these food introductions? 

BONUS Tip for Toddler Food Introduction: 
Start off  super simple - by making food feel like a fun topic to explore! With foods approved for introduction, focus on helping your child learn about them. Start by finding books that include the foods and spotting them in stories, pointing them out at grocery stories, and if approved by your allergist/physician, touching them* - basically anything that helps them become open to trying the food. Then build from there! This sets a fun tone for food introduction, and is one way to get your foot on the first rung of that introduction ladder.

*[Discuss with your allergist/healthcare provider whether touching allergens prior to introducing/ingesting it is recommended or not, especially if your child is at higher risk for developing food allergy, or is managing eczema and other allergic conditions].


So here are this week's takeaways:
  • Fear is a normal emotional response to food and allergen introductions when an allergic reaction is a perceived and/or actual threat
  • We can introduce foods while feeling scared - the fear doesn't have to be gone in order to do so
  • Work with your own allergist and/or physician to determine your food introduction plan
  • Break the overall plan into bite-sized tasks, focusing only on the food you're currently introducing
  • Don't compare yourself to others when it comes to food introductions - give yourself grace and work at your own pace
  • Stay connected to your WHYs - why it's important to push through the fear of food introductions

To read more on the topic of food introduction, check out these resources: 
  • A Consensus Approach to the Primary Prevention of Food Allergy Through Nutrition: Guidance from AAAAI, ACAAI and CSACI

  • Q&A: Consistent, Timely Exposures Are Key to Infant Food Allergen Introduction 

want more empowering allergy life tips like this emailed directly to you? subscribe to receive "food allergy counselor corner" emails!


And don't forget about ALL of the FAC resources there to support you!
  • Allergy counseling information for  patients, therapists, allergists
  • Find an allergy-informed therapy provider - most offering telehealth
  • Listen to podcast episodes offering practical and relatable guidance
  • Watch (and listen to) webinars and podcast interviews
  • Explore allergy-focused behavioral health resources
  • Learn mindset strategies from allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets
  • Connect with other allergy-informed therapy providers!
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Stress Management Skills For All Ages

1/17/2023

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Allergy Stress Management Toolkit
In a recent FAC post, we explored what stress is and how it differs from anxiety, with specific mindfulness-based approaches for managing food allergy-related stress. 

But there's no one perfect way to manage stress! It's important for everyone to find strategies that work specifically for them - and this takes trial and error to determine.

​Therefore, in an effort to help you better understand your own stress and decide which stress management tools to put in your toolbox, this post offers a variety of videos with  different strategies for you to consider. Additionally, it includes skills to teach your kiddos and share with your teens so they also learn how to cope with stress, too!

(While these aren't allergy-specific, they will help with allergy-related stress...and are useful in other areas of life as well).

Stress Management Skills for Kids

  • 2-minute story: Little Monkey Calms Down [early childhood age]

  • Read-Aloud Video: "Keep Calm: My Stress Busting Tips" by Gina Bellisario [best for elementary age and older]​
    ​
  • 7-minute video explaining stress, physical and emotional responses to it, and simple strategies for coping with it  [best for upper elementary and older]
    ​
    ​

Stress Management Skills for Teens 

  • 5-minute video with quick tips to unwind and help manage stress 

  • 3-minute video with practical stress management tips [especially helpful for older teens and young adults]

  • Ted-X Youth Talks - Stress & its impacts on teens [especially helpful for older teens and young adults]

  • Ted-X Youth Talks - Stress at school [especially helpful for older teens and young adults]

​

Stress Management Skills for Adults

  • Quick Stress Release: Anxiety Reduction Skill

  • 6 Daily Habits to Reduce Stress & Anxiety [useful for young adults, too]

  • 7 Simple Science-Backed Tips for Reducing Your Stress 
    ​​
  • Ted Talk: How to Make Stress Your Friend (similar approach to Tamara Hubbard's "Befriend Your Allergy Anxiety" approach - free webinar here)
​

Stress Management For Parents & Families

  • When a Child Has a Chronic Illness: Tips for Managing Family Stress
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  • Ted-X Talk: Compassion Fatigue & Caregiver Stress [easily applies to parenting kids with chronic allergic conditions]
    ​


want more empowering allergy life tips like this emailed directly to you? subscribe to receive "food allergy counselor corner" emails!


​And don't forget about ALL of the FAC resources there to support you!
  • Allergy counseling information for  patients, therapists, allergists
  • Find an allergy-informed therapy provider - most offering telehealth
  • Listen to podcast episodes offering practical and relatable guidance
  • Watch (and listen to) webinars and podcast interviews
  • Explore allergy-focused behavioral health resources
  • Learn mindset strategies from allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets
  • Connect with other allergy-informed therapy providers!
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Unhelpful Allergy Beliefs

5/21/2022

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Ever notice that we live by rules? I'm not talking about societal rules such as laws, but internal rules, or beliefs and guidelines we've created for ourselves to live by. We typically develop these internal rules/beliefs through experiences we've had, or to help us achieve or avoid things.
You'll likely identify these internal rules by the language you use when thinking of them. "Should, ought to, must, right or wrong, good or bad, always or never" are common words and phrases that let us know that we're connecting with these internal rules/beliefs. ​

But internal rules and beliefs are useful, right?

Maybe. They can be useful, guiding us towards things that matter to us in life. BUT, they can also be unhelpful, leading us to veer off track. It's this unhelpfulness that I want to explore - with a simple, practical strategy to help navigate these unhelpful internal rules and beliefs. 
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Credit: johnhain on Pixabay

Quality of Life Impacts of Unhelpful Internal Beliefs

Our internal rules and beliefs can act as guides for how we navigate life. Let's look at some non-allergy examples first: 
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  • Belief:  "I shouldn't do that because I'm not smart"  --->  This internal belief may lead to avoiding taking risks where the outcome may make result in giving wrong answers, extending ourselves academically or professionally, or anything else that reinforces this belief

  • Belief: "I'm a bad cook" ---> This may lead to avoiding cooking, trying new recipes, or letting others taste what you've made

  • Belief: "The world is always unsafe" ---> This may lead to limiting experiences in life or not believing that there is safety and kind people out there in the world

Just like the rules of the road that guide us in driving, these internal rules/beliefs guide our behaviors and how we navigate life. Think of them like guard rails on the highway. When the internal rules/beliefs are helpful, they're like guard rails separated by many lanes - there's so much space to move around, and there may even be portions of the road where there aren't any guard rails limiting us!

But when these internal rules/beliefs are unhelpful, they can feel like guard rails on a one-lane highway - keeping you confined to a very small space.

Before we explore examples of unhelpful allergy-specific internal rules/beliefs and what to do with them, I need to cover one more topic: How rigid or flexible our internal beliefs are.
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How Rigid Or Flexible Are Your Internal Beliefs?

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Credit: Memory Catcher on Pixabay
Using the guard rail metaphor, let's apply it to bowling. Have you ever gone "bumper bowling" with the guard rails up so that the bowling ball doesn't go into the gutter? 

In my experiences with bumper bowling, sometimes I've played with hard, rigid metal bumpers and other times with softer, inflatable-looking bumpers. With the hard, rigid metal bumpers, my ball would typically bounce off of them so much so that it would overcorrect itself, bounce to the other side of the lane, and then bounce back again. It looked like it was erratically bouncing back and forth with no real hope of hitting a pin! But when I've played with the softer, more flexible bumpers, while my ball would still bounce off of the bumpers, it actually seemed to have a chance to actually move down the lane with hope of hitting a pin. 

What this example is getting at is that our internal rules/beliefs (guard rails) can be rigid or flexible, which impacts the actions we take and our quality of life. 

With rigid internal rules/beliefs, we often find ourselves avoiding experiences and limiting ourselves because they don't leave much room for exploration, possibilities, and other perspectives. Things need to be a certain way and align with these internal rules, otherwise it's too risky, scary, uncomfortable, and likely unattainable (or so we believe). The rigid nature of these rules is MEANT to help us feel less anxious and more certain about things, but often times, it ends up doing the opposite and creating more discomfort in our lives. 

When our internal rules/beliefs are more flexible, we're more willing to test the waters outside of our comfort zone to see what happens. We're also more willing to see things from more than one perspective, which potentially leads to changing our internal rules/beliefs to be more workable ones for ourselves, our goals, and our lives in general. While the flexibility of these rules/beliefs may initially scare us because it feels so uncertain, the flexibility helps us to develop life skills that get us through the discomfort and uncertainty life throws our way - and that helps us develop competence and confidence in ourselves!

Now, let's put this all together with allergy-specific examples!
​

Noticing Your Unhelpful Allergy Beliefs

Many of the internal allergy rules/beliefs we've developed are likely rigid ones, which doesn't leave much room for anything less than perfection. 

​
Let's look at these examples of unhelpful allergy rules/beliefs and potential outcomes of living by these rules - and as you read them, I encourage you to think about the rigid rules/beliefs you may have developed: 
​
  • Rigid Allergy Belief: "Feeling anxious is always a sign it's unsafe or that I'll react"
     
     
This rigid belief will likely lead you to avoid anything that makes you feel anxious because you'll interpret everything uncomfortable as something that will lead to a reaction. However, this is unhelpful because anxiety is a normal part of life, especially when managing allergies. Anxiety also doesn't only show up when it has to do with safety - it often shows up when something is new to us! So this rigid belief reinforces the unrealistic internal rule that living safely with an allergy looks like a very precise math equation: Allergy + Avoidance = Total Safety. However, allergy life ISN'T a precise math equation, and living like it is will likely negatively impact your quality of life. 

  • Rigid Allergy Belief: "If I'm not doing everything other allergic individuals or allergy parents that I see in support groups are doing to stay safe, then I'm not being safe enough/aren't being a good enough allergy parent."

This rigid belief sets you up for unhelpful comparisons! These comparisons are based on the internal belief that how others navigate allergy life is right, and how you're doing it is wrong. Says who?! We're all different. We have different allergy specifics, values, and goals in life. What works for one person may not work well for another. So taking information learned from others as a verbatim map you're supposed to strictly follow in order to be safe enough or a good enough allergy parent only pushes you even further from learning the skills that will help YOU feel confident in allergy management!

Now, let's use these rigid allergy belief examples above and turn them into more flexible internal beliefs. 
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​

A Practical Tool For Changing Unhelpful Beliefs

So what's the simple, practical tool that helps us change our rigid rules/beliefs into  more flexible and workable ones? 

LANGUAGE, or the words we choose to use, even in our own mind!

You'll see we can turn a rigid belief into a more flexible one by simply changing the words or phrases used - because language matters when it comes to how we internal rule-making!

  • Rigid Allergy Belief: "Feeling anxious is always a sign it's unsafe or that I'll react" 
  • ​Flexible Allergy Belief: "Feeling anxious may be a sign it's unsafe or that I'll react"

Did you notice a difference in how it felt when you read the rigid version versus the flexible version of this internal belief? While it still leaves room for thinking about the potential or uncertainty of a reaction (because we truly can't eliminate ALL uncertainty in life), it hopefully felt less uncomfortable. The flexible allergy belief will open you up to looking at other perspectives and potential outcomes, such as anxiety just being an uncomfortable feeling that doesn't always mean something is unsafe. And this adjusted internal belief will allow you to choose new actions, which may positively impact your quality of life!

  • Rigid Allergy Belief: "If I'm not doing everything other allergic individuals or allergy parents that I see in support groups are doing to stay safe, then I'm not being safe enough/aren't being a good allergy parent."
  • Flexible Allergy Belief: "I can choose to do what other allergic individuals or allergy parents that I see in support groups are doing to stay safe, but not doing so doesn't mean I'm not being safe enough/aren't being a good enough allergy parent." 

​By changing the phrasing used in this rigid allergy rule/belief, it literally changes the meaning of it! So, which of those statements feels most workable for you? (I'm putting my money on the flexible one). Instead of falling in line with an internal rule you created based off of the fear you're feeling, you can choose to make that belief work better for you. Then, the next time you're reading through online posts and that rigid allergy rule/belief pops back up (because it most likely still will for awhile), you can remind yourself of your more workable, flexible rule/belief!
​

Final Takeaways....

While there is a lot of room for very calculated and precise rules in allergy life (and life in general), not EVERY internal allergy rule/belief has to be so rigid. And in fact, the more rigid we tend to be, the more potential there is that these rules/beliefs will negatively impact our quality of life.

Therefore, remember: 
  • It's helpful to start noticing your internal rules/beliefs and their impact on life
  • Our internal rules/beliefs can be helpful AND unhelpful
  • It's important to assess which of our rules/beliefs are unhelpful vs. unhelpful
  • Explore whether your unhelpful internal rules/beliefs are too rigid
  • It IS possible to make our internal rules/beliefs more workable with flexibility
  • Making our internal rules/beliefs more flexible starts with adjusting language
  • When the rigid rules/beliefs pop back up, remind yourself of the flexible ones
  • Navigating allergy life with some flexible internal rules/beliefs can positively impact the ability to learn how to confidently live with allergies and positively impact your quality of life 
​
Other FAC posts that may help: 
  • ​Building Allergy Life Skills When Anxious
  • Fighting Food Allergy Fears with Facts​

Remember, support is out there if you need it! Don't forget to check out the Food Allergy Counselor Directory, the Exploring Food Allergy Families podcast, the Food Allergy Behavioral Health Resource section, and the allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets. And if you're an allergy-informed therapy provider, then visit the Provider page!

----> And don't forget to sign up to receive helpful allergy psychosocial tips and updates via email! Subscribers also get the free "Allergy Anxiety and Overwhelm Mini Guide".

Don't be shy - reach out and say hi! I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this post and other FAC content.
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