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Food Introduction Fears

2/21/2023

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With research now showing that delaying the introduction of allergens to infants may increase the risk of developing allergies, there's been a purposeful focus on "letting the babies eat" - which is a catchy phrase to help remind parents of this important data (links to useful data at the end of this article). 

But what happens when fear enters the equation (which it likely will, because fear is a normal emotional response to a perceived and/or actual threat, such as an allergic reaction).  When fear gets in the way of introducing new foods? 
Fear of Food Allergen Introduction
Maybe you're the parent/caregiver of an infant and want to introduce allergens, but are scared to. Or perhaps you have a toddler and while you haven't been diligent about introducing new foods along the way, you now want to, but find that your nerves are getting in the way of actually following through. 

While it's outside of The FAC's professional scope to provide any medical guidance, it's within its  scope to offer tips to help navigate the fear and anxiety impacting your ability to follow through with introducing new foods. With that said, this important disclaimer needs to be made before moving on to helpful tips:
Guidance given here is for educational purposes; please consult with your own allergist and/or physician for guidance specific to your situation, including determining which foods are safe to introduce and when. 

Now, let's get to 3 practical tips to help you introduce foods even with fear present!

Tip #1: Make "Bite-Sized" Goals:

Especially if you're feeling that you're "behind" on the goal of introducing new foods, you may set such high expectations that you'll get derailed before you even start. Maybe you're pressuring yourself to introduce as many foods as possible, as quickly as possible! But if you find that approach only leads to more avoidance of food introductions, then it's not a workable approach for you. Here's what may help if this is how you're feeling, whether you're working on infant food introduction or introductions with an older child: 


  • Develop a food introduction timeline with your allergist and/or physician, including how often to introduce foods and which foods to introduce when; use this as your compass rather than trying to guess your way through it (which will likely increase fear and anxiety)

  • Stay in the present-moment, only focusing on the food you're currently introducing

  • If you get derailed, explore how you got off-track and focus on encouraging yourself to get back on the food introduction ladder (you just need to get on that first step to reconnect with your bravery and use that as momentum to keep moving forward!)

  • Don't hesitate to reach out to your allergist and/or physician if you get off-track or have any concerns. (And, no, you're NOT bothering them with such questions!)

Tip #2: Practice Self-Compassion: 
We tend to be judgmental of ourselves when we are unable to follow through with tasks we feel we should be doing. This may lead to thoughts of "Why aren't I brave enough?" and "I'm not being a good enough allergy parent!" And once we jump down that judgmental rabbit hole, it may actually feel harder to introduce foods since we're now dealing with fear AND judgement! Here's what helps if you find yourself experiencing self-judgement: 


  • Develop compassionate self-talk statements to say to yourself when you're feeling down about the struggle to introduce new foods. This can include statements like: "I am not feeling ready YET, but I'm working towards that!" or "I can do hard (and scary) things!"

  • Give yourself grace! It's not easy to do things that we feel are threatening - if it was, then we'd all be doing it already. 

  • Connect with the collective experience of food introduction. You're not the only parent/caregiver finding it hard to introduce new foods. Reminding yourself of this can help normalize how you're feeling.

  • There's no need to compare yourself to how other allergy parents/caregivers are navigating this task - it won't feel helpful! Everyone's situation is specific to them - including their allergies, how they feel, and how they navigate through food introductions.  

Tip #3: Focus on Your "WHYs" for Food Introduction:
Yes, one big WHY for introducing allergens early and often are to help with allergy prevention, but there are likely other reasons why you're wanting to do food introductions. These WHYs become important reminders that help us push through the times when we're anxious, and help us stay on track when it feels hard to do so. To determine your additional WHYs for food introduction, ask yourself these questions: 
  • What will I and/or my child be able to do more of if I introduce more foods and potentially expand food options? 

  • What is *not* introducing foods costing me and/or my child? (ie. what are you not able to do that you want to; is it causing stress; is it impacting relationships/family or quality of life?)

  • What goals am I looking forward to once I start working through these food introductions? 

BONUS Tip for Toddler Food Introduction: 
Start off  super simple - by making food feel like a fun topic to explore! With foods approved for introduction, focus on helping your child learn about them. Start by finding books that include the foods and spotting them in stories, pointing them out at grocery stories, and if approved by your allergist/physician, touching them* - basically anything that helps them become open to trying the food. Then build from there! This sets a fun tone for food introduction, and is one way to get your foot on the first rung of that introduction ladder.

*[Discuss with your allergist/healthcare provider whether touching allergens prior to introducing/ingesting it is recommended or not, especially if your child is at higher risk for developing food allergy, or is managing eczema and other allergic conditions].


So here are this week's takeaways:
  • Fear is a normal emotional response to food and allergen introductions when an allergic reaction is a perceived and/or actual threat
  • We can introduce foods while feeling scared - the fear doesn't have to be gone in order to do so
  • Work with your own allergist and/or physician to determine your food introduction plan
  • Break the overall plan into bite-sized tasks, focusing only on the food you're currently introducing
  • Don't compare yourself to others when it comes to food introductions - give yourself grace and work at your own pace
  • Stay connected to your WHYs - why it's important to push through the fear of food introductions

To read more on the topic of food introduction, check out these resources: 
  • A Consensus Approach to the Primary Prevention of Food Allergy Through Nutrition: Guidance from AAAAI, ACAAI and CSACI

  • Q&A: Consistent, Timely Exposures Are Key to Infant Food Allergen Introduction 

want more empowering allergy life tips like this emailed directly to you? subscribe to receive "food allergy counselor corner" emails!


And don't forget about ALL of the FAC resources there to support you!
  • Allergy counseling information for  patients, therapists, allergists
  • Find an allergy-informed therapy provider - most offering telehealth
  • Listen to podcast episodes offering practical and relatable guidance
  • Watch (and listen to) webinars and podcast interviews
  • Explore allergy-focused behavioral health resources
  • Learn mindset strategies from allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets
  • Connect with other allergy-informed therapy providers!
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Getting Out of Your Allergy Comfort Zone

1/31/2023

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A common question asked in allergy support groups relates to how to move from fearing food allergies to confidently managing them.

The honest answer is: It's a learning process. 

So let's explore that process.

Once you've adjusted to life with a food allergy, you'll likely find yourself in the allergy comfort zone. It's a place filled with routine, a sense of comfort, and most likely, limited risk-taking - all of which helps keep your anxiety manageable. Since we feel safe in our comfort zone, it can feel incredibly hard to motivate yourself to leave it.

So then, why would you want to leave a place that feels so comfortable just to welcomes more fear?

To learn, grow, and develop food allergy confidence!

Sure, it's possible to stay in the allergy comfort zone forever and there's no judgement if that's the choice you make. But what happens when we stick within these rigid walls of comfort is that we limit our ability to engage in a number of meaningful life experiences because we experience fear and discomfort even just thinking about them, never mind trying them.

Therefore, let's look at the zones we move through in order to develop allergy confidence, and why its beneficial to be willing to step outside of your allergy comfort zone!
​
Allergy Comfort Zone

​THE FEAR ZONE

Yes, the fear zone is just outside of the walls of the allergy comfort zone, but reminding yourself that it's just part of the process of developing confidence is useful. Many experience increased anxiety, a lack of self-confidence, and even physical panic sensations while in the fear zone. This is understandable! When we are faced with the unknown, increased risk, and something new, it's common for anxiety and fear to increase.

However, we don't have to stay in the fear zone, and we don't have to run right back to our allergy comfort zone either (as much as we may want to). By reminding yourself that fear and anxiety are normal parts of this process, it can help you feel more empowered to keep moving forward to the next zone!

THE LEARNING ZONE
The learning zone is where we do AND learn! It's where we develop new skills that help us move closer to feeling food allergy confidence. Yes, this means we actually have to practice these new skills - which can make us feel very uncomfortable. But by practicing new skills, you are allowing yourself to experience situations that are useful for developing new insights that will truly make a difference in your mindset about allergy management. This is crucial, because confidence is developed by building competence - or building your ability to do things effectively, such as navigating an anxiety-provoking situation.

Just because we're in the learning zone doesn't mean we don't still feel fear - these stages aren't as linear as the image shows. Again, anytime we're facing the unknown, unpredictability, uncertainty, newness, and transition, it's common for increased anxiety, and if there's perceived risk associated, an increase in fear as well. But these feelings of discomfort don't always signify danger - sometimes they signify growth!


THE GROWTH ZONE
This is the zone we can't wait to get to! The growth zone is where we develop more confidence in our ability to navigate the feared experiences we've wanted to learn how to handle better. As a result, this often leads to decreased anxiety and fear, and essentially brings us to a new and expanded version of our allergy comfort zone!
​
Tips to Help You Move Through The Zones:
The following can help you stay committed to moving forward (rather than moving back to the allergy comfort zone) and towards growth and confidence in managing your allergies: 
  • ANXIETY & STRESS MANAGEMENT TOOLS - Identifying and using anxiety management tools, such as thought editing, journaling, and mindfulness exercises, as well as tools to manage physical anxiety sensations, such as breathing and relaxation exercises, movement, and physical exercise.

  • REMEMBERING THE PURPOSE - Staying connected to your WHY - the reason or benefits of going through this process (i.e. better ability and more confidence in navigating eating out, traveling, parties, etc).

  • MINDSET REMINDERS - Remembering that increased anxiety and fear are common when we underestimate our ability to manage a situation, and/or don't feel we have the necessary tools to do so - that's why going through the learning and doing stage (i.e. developing new skills) is key in building food allergy confidence!

  • MOTIVATING QUESTIONS TO EXPLORE - Think about your own desired growth, starting by identifying what might be worth pushing yourself out of your allergy comfort zone. Explore the following questions:

    • What actions or experiences would you like to have that fear and/or anxiety are holding you back from?

    • Are there allergy management areas in which you'd like to learn new skills and/or grow confidence in managing? 
      ​
    • When have you stepped outside of your allergy comfort zone, and how did it help you grow?  

    • What would it take to motivate you to step outside of your allergy comfort zone again? 

    • What tools would help you follow through the zones to the growth stage? 
Final Thoughts:
When we're brave enough to leave our comfort zone, and push through the fear zone into the learning zone, we allow ourselves to develop the skills that help make things feel less scary. Skills that help us assess allergy risks, logically think through scenarios, and ultimately increase our belief in ourselves. All of this then helps us develop a more empowered attitude about living with food allergies!


Want more tips to help you when you're outside of your allergy comfort zone? Check out this FAC content: 
  • G.R.O.W. Through Allergy Discomfort
  • Unhelpful Allergy Beliefs 
  • Building Allergy Life Skills When Anxious
  • Two Ways to Help Kids Build FA-Related Self-Esteem

want more empowering allergy life tips like this emailed directly to you? subscribe to receive "food allergy counselor corner" emails!


And don't forget about ALL of the FAC resources there to support you!
  • Allergy counseling information for  patients, therapists, allergists
  • Find an allergy-informed therapy provider - most offering telehealth
  • Listen to podcast episodes offering practical and relatable guidance
  • Watch (and listen to) webinars and podcast interviews
  • Explore allergy-focused behavioral health resources
  • Learn mindset strategies from allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets
  • Connect with other allergy-informed therapy providers!
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Fear-Based Messages About Food Allergy Mistakes

8/7/2022

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[This is one of those articles that may stir up feelings of anxiety. But remember - anxiety isn't the bad guy (even though it makes us feel uncomfortable) - and it can actually push us towards meaningful change. So harness any anxious feelings you may feel as you read this, and focus on exploring why they're there and how the information presented may help you create a more workable approach to anxiety].

Scrolling through allergy social media accounts, you may have come across posts with the following kinds of messages: 
  • You can't make any mistakes when managing food allergies
  • There are no do-overs if you DO make mistakes 
  • Be careful - don't make wrong choices because results will be catastrophic
  • You need to be 100% on the mark every moment of every day​​
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[Image Source: AmberMB on Pixabay]

Do these messages raise your anxiety levels? Do they flip on the pressure to be perfect? Or make you want to curl up in a ball and hide (so you don't have to deal with the possibilities of making mistakes)?

These are normal emotional responses to those kind of statements. 

​While messages with these themes mean well - encouraging people to exercise caution and take food allergies seriously - the reality is that they may do more harm than good.

​Let's explore (3) reasons why these fear-based messages may not be the best approach to relaying the seriousness of food allergies, particularly within the food allergy community itself.  
​

1. They Can Lead To Excessive Anxiety & Worry

Increased anxiety has already been noted, but let's expand on the potential "allergy anxiety domino effect" that fear-based allergy messaging may give way to.

​Excessive anxiety and worry can lead to avoidance of experiences in order to seek safety. Avoidance of experiences can then lead to even more anxiety due to a lack of confidence in one's ability to manage their allergy without avoiding things. This then reinforces the narrative that life with food allergies is too scary to navigate. And, you guessed it - that tends to translate to even more avoidance. 


Experiencing some anxiety can actually be useful, often motivating us towards action and change. However, when it becomes excessive, our stress levels rise and our confidence in our ability to manage situations decreases. This is when we tend to feel scared, stuck, and without any control or impact on situations and their outcomes. 

​Therefore, when messages use extreme language and themes, they're likely overshooting their target, leading readers to feel less empowered and more trapped by allergy fears.  
​

2. They Can Lead To Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Simply put, no one is perfect! That means that mistakes WILL happen. I know that's a scary thought when managing life-threatening food allergies, but it's a thought that is better addressed than avoided. With that said, not every mistake leads to a reaction or anaphylaxis, and that's an important thing to remind yourself.

When messages lead us to believe that every mistake ends in catastrophe, our brain interprets that as a threat - we must keep ourselves and/or our child from having an allergic reaction at all costs (including costs to our own well-being). This then triggers a feeling of panic and fight/flight/freeze response. And understandably, that primes us to seek safety by creating an unrealistic safety bubble for fear of making mistakes. 

That's why fear-based messaging does more harm than good. When we're in fight/flight/freeze mode, our focus is safety, not learning to live with food allergies. If we stay in that mode, we will expect ourselves (and others) to be perfect, never making a mistake - telling ourselves that this an achievable goal. And if a reaction does happen, we may then deal with intense guilt that is fed by this unachievable goal. 


Yes, our overall goal is to prevent reactions, but it's unhelpful to believe that this is achieved through perfection. It's more useful to accept that there will likely be mistakes - maybe even made by ourselves - and focus on learning how to navigate reactions, should they happen. 
​

3. They Can Lead To Overparenting Behaviors

While parenting a food allergic child does require additional stressors that non-allergy parents don't deal with, it's still possible to overparent an allergic child. 

Overparenting is paved with good intentions, but can result in a child experiencing increased anxiety, inadequate life skills, and a lack of resilience. There's data exploring how 
maternal distress is an identified risk factor for psychosocial difficulties in youth with food allergy, and restrictive parenting practices can lead to poorer health-related quality of life in this population. And even with allergic children, parents' goals are still to work themselves out of a job. This means that allergy parents should focus on helping themselves grow through each stage of an allergic child's development in order to raise a self-sufficient allergic young adult. 

Connecting this with the first two points, fear-based messaging tends to lead to the exact opposite by opening the door to excessive anxiety, which then sets the stage for avoidance of experiences, aiming for unrealistic perfection, and overparenting children in order to achieve safety - none of which is helpful. 

So then how can people express the seriousness of food allergies with less fear-based messaging? 

Below are (2) helpful tips for developing messages that evoke action and empowerment rather than paralyzing worry and fear: 

Focus The Message on Building Confidence​:

  • Encouraging allergic individuals to build confidence in their ability to manage an allergic reaction is a more useful message, as it motivates people towards action. In order to grow confidence, we must first build competence through practice. Yes, that means that you'll be stepping outside of your comfort zone, but you can do so at your own pace. Without practicing allergy management skills and preparing for the possibility of anaphylaxis, competence and confidence will not develop - and instead, anxiety and fear may continue to be the main drivers in your decision-making. Therefore, encouraging action towards building confidence helps people feel more capable of managing food allergies and less like they have no control at all. 

Strike a Balance Within The Message:

  • When living with food allergies, we do need to take them serious. But overly-focusing on the seriousness of allergies can lead to the belief that every aspect of allergy life will be hard, if not impossible, to navigate. Therefore, it's helpful to aim to strike a balance between the seriousness and workability of the message. Yes, we want to encourage people to take allergies seriously and make mindful choices, but it's equally important to encourage finding workable ways to live life with allergies that isn't rooted in daily fear. 

Tips For Navigating Fear-Based Messages: 

If you haven't already, you'll likely come across fear-based allergy messaging online, because, let's face it - food allergies can feel scary! But don't let these kinds of narratives have the power to make you feel inadequate about how you're navigating life with allergies. 

Here are helpful reminders as you come across fear-based messaging: 
  • Look beyond the words & interpret what the message is trying encourage
  • Notice what it triggers & focus on actions that help address the worries
  • Set realistic expectations of self and others - no one can be perfect!
  • Be selective in who/what accounts you follow online - if they often leave you feeling triggered, they aren't useful for you

[It's important to note that if you and/or your child has experienced an allergic reaction, it may feel harder to disengage from these fear-based messages. Monitor how you're coping after reactions, and if you find it hard to regain daily functioning, discuss this with your allergist and consider reaching out for therapeutic support]. 

Remember, support is there if you need it! Don't forget to check out the Food Allergy Counselor Directory, the Exploring Food Allergy Families podcast, the Food Allergy Behavioral Health Resource section, and the allergy-specific therapeutic worksheets. And if you're an allergy-informed therapy provider, then visit the Provider page!

Don't be shy - reach out and say hi! I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this post and other FAC content.
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