*This post is one of the 2022 "Pre-Food Allergy Awareness Week" posts. Stay tuned for more this week, including another allergy life skill and an in-depth look at "The 6 Stages of Allergy Parenting" framework.
Follow the FAC on Instagram (@FoodAllergyCounselor), Facebook (www.Facebook.com/FoodAllergyCounselor) and Twitter (@FACounselor) for more valuable information and posts!
Living with allergies means experiencing emotional discomfort, since uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, worry, sadness, anger, and overwhelm can pop up at any time.
But our mind doesn't like discomfort or anything that creates it, such as unpredictability, uncertainty, anything that isn't very clear cut, and sensations that mimic allergic reactions. It feels icky, hard and sometimes even impossible to get through these discomforts. And since our mind wants predictability and certainty to help it feel calmer and safer, it encourages us to make choices that lead us towards that calm - which typically means our mind pushes us to avoid the situation that created the uncomfortable feelings.
While it may seem easier (and safer) to always avoid situations that make us feel this way, if we do, then we limit our ability to develop confidence while living with allergies.
So then, this next statement may stir up those uncomfortable feelings for you:
UNFORTUNATELY, WE HAVE TO STEP OUTSIDE OF OUR COMFORT ZONE TO GROW OUR ALLERGY CONFIDENCE.
Simply put, if we avoid every opportunity to practice allergy management skills because it's outside of our comfort zone, then it limits our ability to expand that comfort zone and eventually learn how to live confidently with allergies.
Sure, you still have the choice to avoid uncomfortable scenarios, BUT, if that is the main tool you use to get through the discomfort, then you're limiting your ability to live a fully engaged life even WITH allergies.
So then, how do we learn to step outside of our comfort zone when so many situations feel so unsafe when managing allergies?
We need to identify strategies and tool that help us work through the uncomfortable feelings and sensations we experience in order to get to the other side - confidently living with our allergy. (Stay tuned for another skill coming this week to help when we do decide to step outside of this comfort zone).
The list of strategies and tools that will help us work THROUGH the discomfort (rather than letting it STOP us) may include:
And here's a NEW tool to put in your toolkit!
The G-R-O-W Technique is a mindfulness-based skill to help you notice the discomfort, understand it, and move forward even with it being there. (It can be adapted and taught to kids, too!)
G: GIVE the feeling or sensation a name. You can simply name the emotion, or get more creative, giving it an actual name like "Mr. Worry". This allows you some distance between you and the feeling and/or sensation. This is what helps us pause so we can CHOOSE our actions and don't have to automatically do what the feeling or sensations says you should do.
R: REVIEW why the feeling or sensation might be there. Get really curious - what does this feeling want you to know? Are you trying something new? Do you need more information on a topic? Are you doing something important, but scary? We typically jump to assumptions and worst-case-scenarios conclusions. We may assume something is too risky based on our feeling, so it’s important to identify other reasons something may feel uncomfortable to do.
O: OBSERVE how it feels in your mind and body. Get to know how your mind and body reacts to this feeling or sensation. Does your stomach feel upset? Is your mind racing? Become familiar with how it feels when this emotion is present so you can tell the difference between anxiety and reaction sensations, and how it feels when you're doing something new versus doing something unsafe.
W: WAYS to move forward with discomfort. This means mapping out workable solutions. What do you need to help you try this new situation or move forward rather than automatically avoid it?
I'll leave you with this last piece of encouragement:
Make the commitment to yourself that learning how to grow through discomfort and get off the allergy anxiety/overwhelm autopilot mode is important enough for you to do, even when it feels incredibly hard to. Sometimes that all you need to do to get yourself on that journey, and it's a great place to start!
Yes, it takes time and practice, but you WILL learn how strong you are...even if you don't always feel that strength.
One of the most common questions I see being asked within the food allergy community is:
"How do I help my son or daughter with their food allergy anxiety or worry?"
The answer to that question isn't simplistic, as there are likely many factors contributing to the anxiety or worry. But at the core of the answer is the advice to help their child better understand the worry in order to develop strategies to help effectively manage it.
What exactly is worry?
The terms "anxiety", "worry", and "fear" are often used interchangeably. So do they mean the same thing? No, but they are definitely related.
Whereas anxiety typically stems from the uncertainty, unpredictability and unknown about future situations, worry is the thinking part of anxiety. It's what often leads our minds to dwelling on worst case scenarios, the "what ifs", or leads us into a thinking trap known as "catastrophizing".
Whether our worry is triggered by anxiety about the future or fear due to a threat in the here-and-now, it can lead us down the rabbit hole of thoughts. This may then trigger uncomfortable emotions and physical sensations, which often convinces us even more that our worried thoughts must be valid!
What helps to manage worrY?
There are a variety of therapeutic approaches to help people learn to manage or navigate life with their anxiety or worry. Whether through basic psychoeducation, or strategies based on approaches stemming from evidence-based therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, or exposure therapy, the goals are typically to help people change negative thought patterns, learn relaxation or grounding skills, and change behaviors that lead to the distressing impacts or outcomes.
The Managing Food Allergy Worries Worksheet
The following 3-page therapeutic worksheet was created to help older kids, teens, and even adults begin to address their food allergy-related worries. The goal of the worksheet is to help you identify practical strategies that effectively help you break free from those worry traps. It encourages getting to know more about the thoughts that fuel the worry. It also guides you to notice how the worry makes you feel physically since anxiety and worry often bring on physical sensations that may even trick you into thinking you're having an allergic reaction.
[Disclaimer: This therapeutic activity is meant to help understand and manage worries, but is not meant to take the place of counseling. Please reach out to a licensed clinical mental healthcare provider if you feel that your anxiety or worry is impacting your life in a way that feels unmanageable on your own. You can locate an allergy-informed therapist in your state via the Food Allergy Counselor Directory.]
RELATED Helpful Resources:
Thanks for reading,
I'm very excited about this announcement. Not only does it relate to topics I am passionate about, but it's also a resource that I think will be enjoyable to listen to and learn from.
So why did I create this podcast?
Well, you'll have to listen to the brief preview episode to hear that answer!
But I'll share why I think you'll enjoy this new podcast....
Exploring Food Allergy Families is a podcast with real talk, relatable conversations, and practical tips focused on navigating the impacts that food allergies have on families, mental health, and emotional well-being. Building resilience and an empowered mindset are key pillars of this podcast.
With episode lengths of 30 minutes or less, they're perfect to listen to while going for a run, walking the dog, or enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning (or wine at night)!
This podcast aims to share and explore:
Also, for episodes focused on skill-building and strategies, there will be additional follow up resources available on this website for those topics, should you want to apply and practice the concepts discussed.
So there you have it! Check out the first episode - a short preview and introduction, which explains why I decided this podcast was so important.
Then be sure to subscribe to Exploring Food Allergy Families (wherever you listen to podcasts) so you don't miss future episodes!
Trust me, you won't want to miss any episodes, especially the next one, Exploring Food Allergy Dads' Experiences, where I will share insights from the recent survey, relevant guidance/tips, and chat with one of these amazing food allergy dads!
So, let's explore food allergy families together!
Podcast Episode site: https://exploringfoodallergyfamilies.buzzsprout.com/
Podcast Info: www.FoodAllergyFamilies.com (or Podcast section on this website )
- Your feedback is a gift that I truly value, so please feel free to share thoughts, topic ideas,
or feedback on whether topics explored on the podcast have been helpful. -
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