Category: Relationships

Exploring Food Allergy Dads' Experiences: Survey Results

5/4/2020

As a family therapy-trained licensed therapist, I often find myself wondering about the systems in which we live. The family system, the community system, and beyond. Furthermore, I find it valuable to gain an understanding of how each system works, and how each member feels and navigates their role - especially within the family system.

Last year, I shared survey results exploring how non-allergic siblings felt. Recently, I became more curious about how dads perceived their experiences as food allergy parents. So, rather than trying to assume, I decided to go straight to the source: the dads! Below are the results from this anonymous survey.*

In addition to reading through these responses, be sure to check out episode 2 of the Exploring Food Allergy Families podcast, where themes from this survey are discussed. Additionally, you won't want to miss the 2-part episode where I chat openly and honestly with an experienced food allergy dad who took this survey (episodes 6 & 7). (Exploring Food Allergy Families podcast is available via all podcast apps, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio)

*2021 Update: Check out EFAF podcast episode 15 (Comparing Moms' & Dads' Experiences - Allergy Parenting Survey Review), which explores the survey results from moms who took this same survey and compares/contrasts the data from the dad survey.

Question #1:

Do you feel food allergy dads speak up enough about
their experiences parenting a child with food allergies?

Question #2:

As a dad, what's one of the hardest things about managing your child's food allergy?

Question #3:

Is there an aspect of food allergy management that you feel
YOU manage better or more confidently than your partner/spouse does?

Question #4:

Is there an aspect of food allergy management that you feel
YOUR PARTNER/SPOUSE manages better or more confidently than you do?

Question #5:

What is one food allergy management guideline or decision that you
and your spouse/partner don’t always agree on?
(i.e. comfort level about eating at restaurants or eating may contains)

Question #6:

What would be one tip/piece of advice you’d share with dads of a newly diagnosed child?

Question #7:

Please share anything else you think would be helpful to know about being a dad to a food allergic child. (Thank you for your time!)

COMMUNITY QUESTIONS:
If you’re a dad reading this or listening to episode two of the podcast, did you feel these results aligned with your own experiences?

Or did these themes seem to fit with your partner’s experiences?

Check out these additional resources:

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New Podcast: Exploring Food Allergy Families

4/25/2020

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I'm very excited about this announcement. Not only does it relate to topics I am passionate about, but it's also a resource that I think will be enjoyable to listen to and learn from.

Introducing.....

So why did I create this podcast?

Well, you'll have to listen to the brief preview episode to hear that answer!

But I'll share why I think you'll enjoy this new podcast....

Exploring Food Allergy Families is a podcast with real talk, relatable conversations, and practical tips focused on navigating the impacts that food allergies have on families, mental health, and emotional well-being. Building resilience and an empowered mindset are key pillars of this podcast.

With episode lengths of 30 minutes or less, they're perfect to listen to while going for a run, walking the dog, or enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning (or wine at night)!

This podcast aims to share and explore:

"Bite size" chunks of knowledge on various topics, with tips you can use
Interviews with allergy-informed allied and mental healthcare providers
Guidance on a variety of food allergy, relationship, and life stresses
New thought processes that help you co-exist with or flip inner worry voices
Strategies to assess and address increased anxiety, emotions, and stress
Perspectives on how food allergies impact family systems and relationships
Building an empowered mindset to help gain confidence and build resilience
Honest conversations with families at various stages of their allergy journey
Reassurance that you're not alone in your thoughts and feelings
Parenting guidance to help determine if you're on track with food allergy parenting goals in different stages of development
Fun chats, because sometimes we just need to lighten the mood and laugh
And SO much more, because this is just the beginning!

Also, for episodes focused on skill-building and strategies, there will be additional follow up resources available on this website for those topics, should you want to apply and practice the concepts discussed.

So there you have it! Check out the first episode - a short preview and introduction, which explains why I decided this podcast was so important.

Then be sure to subscribe to Exploring Food Allergy Families (wherever you listen to podcasts) so you don't miss future episodes!

Trust me, you won't want to miss any episodes, especially the next one, Exploring Food Allergy Dads' Experiences, where I will share insights from the recent survey, relevant guidance/tips, and chat with one of these amazing food allergy dads!

So, let's explore food allergy families together!

Podcast Episode site: https://exploringfoodallergyfamilies.buzzsprout.com/
Podcast Info: www.FoodAllergyFamilies.com (or Podcast section on this website )

- Your feedback is a gift that I truly value, so please feel free to share thoughts, topic ideas,
or feedback on whether topics explored on the podcast have been helpful. -

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3 Ways Marriages Are Affected by food allergies

7/8/2018

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Photo Credit: Weebly photos

Parenting is hard enough on relationships, but add food allergies or other chronic illnesses to the picture, and even spouses with a solid partnership and seamless communication style will face challenges.

Oftentimes, parents are required to be so focused on the day-to-day logistics of managing food allergies, that residual impacts to their relationship aren’t noticed until they become impossible to ignore.

Here are three common ways marriages/relationships may be affected by food allergies and solutions to navigate them:

DWINDLING DATE NIGHTS
When food allergies are a factor, your pool of babysitter options may be more shallow due to increased safety protocols, especially when your child is still very young. Maybe you don’t have sitters you feel comfortable leaving your child with, or you don’t have family members that will follow the food rules. Maybe you’re just not ready to trust that someone else will be able to recognize a reaction and enforce the emergency action plan if you’re not there to help. Whatever the reason, the lack of alone time with your significant other can easy dwindle until it’s non-existent.

What You Can Do:
🔷 Not having a sitter shouldn’t be the reason date nights don’t happen, so get creative! Take turns planning date nights at home -- dinners, movies, or other activities. Get out an old photo album and reminisce together. Have a game marathon. The goal is to have fun, connect, and get your minds off of food allergies and back onto your relationship.

🔷 Take advantages of opportunities to “turn towards each other”, or notice and appreciate one another. Even if you’re only able to have a quiet night together once a month, these little gestures go a long way and can help you reconnect in the meantime.

Don’t Forget:
🔶 Nurturing what connects you and your relationship directly impacts how you will navigate the tough times together. The more connected you feel, the more likely you’ll work as a team during stressful situations. Make each other a priority again!

ELEVATED STRESS LEVELS
Computers have a constant antivirus software running in the background to ward off any surprise attacks. Similarly, parents managing food allergies are always on - preparing ahead of time, surveying situations, and being on high alert just in case. Let’s call it what it is - STRESSFUL! Cumulative stress can dramatically impact and change individuals, and therefore, it can directly affect the relationship between you and your significant other. Before you know it, you might be standing face-to-face, but barely recognize one another due to how much you’ve both changed from the stress.

What You Can Do:
🔷 Self-care needs to be a priority for you both. Much of your time and energy is spent focusing on your child’s safety, so your own self-care may quickly drop to the bottom of the priority list (which can be true for all parents in general). But remember that computer analogy? If we don’t turn off or reboot the machine from time to time, eventually it doesn’t run as effectively. The same is true of parents. Try and turn your hypervigilance off when you can and focus on your own needs, even if it’s only for mere minutes a day.

🔷 Another way to help manage stress is to be more mindful. Being mindful is “having the ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we are doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.” By the very nature of food allergies, emotions tend to run high and reactivity is always prepared in case it’s called into action. Take an inventory of which situations cause the most stress, and share that list with your significant other. If you’re aware of each other’s triggers ahead of time, it may help you both stay present and better navigate the stress together, as opposed to letting stress lead the way and cause chaos in your relationship.

Don’t Forget:
🔶 Plain and simple, there will be stressors associated with managing food allergies. The key is to not let the emotions become so overwhelming that it infiltrates your relationship and drives a wedge between you.

CAUTION LEVELS DIFFER
When your child is initially diagnosed with a food allergy, caution levels tend to be at an all-time high. However, after some time and distance from the diagnosis, especially if there hasn’t been a reaction, some individuals tend to lower their guards when it comes to the food rules. If one of you sticks to the rules consistently, but the other doesn’t, it can cause fights and resentments, leaving you feeling like you’re the one that must be hypervigilant for your child’s safety.

What You Can Do:
🔷 If you’re not on the same page with food rules, it’s time to hit the pause button and do some wondering. Why is your significant other feeling comfortable veering from the plan? Has anything changed - any new results from allergy appointments? Is it possible that the initial guidelines should be revisited and re-evaluated?

🔷 In order to get to the core reasons, and therefore a solution, you and your significant other will have to explore this topic together. Emotions will likely be high, so try and remain calm and focused on finding a solution that is best for your child’s safety and that you both can be successful with.

🔷 The goal is to understand what risk level you each feel most comfortable with, as well as what non-negotiable food rule items you both have. Revisit the food rules, making sure to incorporate each of your non-negotiable items first, and then layer in the other preferred rules.

🔷 If you find you’re at an impasse and can’t agree on what guidelines need to be in place, it’s best to reach out to your allergist or an evidenced-based support network to determine which guidelines are necessary and which ones may not be needed.

Don’t Forget:
🔶 Safety and precautions are the name of the game. However, the logistics of the game may need to be revisited if you and your significant other aren’t seeing eye-to-eye about them. Rather than argue about it, take a solution-focused, team approach. Remember, it’s not about who’s right or wrong; it’s about both of you succeeding with safety goals for your child’s sake.

Chronic illnesses, such as food allergies, may impact marriages and relationships, but they don’t have to derail them. Being aware of what affects yours, staying connected, and using clear and calm communication when issues do arise can help you troubleshoot even the toughest of times - as a team.

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Exploring Food Allergy Dads' Experiences: Survey Results

Question #1:

Question #2:

Question #3:

Question #4:

Question #5:

Question #6:

Question #7:

New Podcast: Exploring Food Allergy Families

3 Ways Marriages Are Affected by food allergies

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Exploring Food Allergy Dads' Experiences: Survey Results

Question #1:

​Question #2:

Question #3:

Question #4:

Question #5:

Question #6:

Question #7:

New Podcast: Exploring Food Allergy Families

3 Ways Marriages Are Affected by food allergies

Archives

Categories

FAC Resources

For THERAPY Providers

About

Question #2: